How I Wish, I Was Never Married At All…!!

Yeah..sensational right? Hitting any cords there? I know it is hard to say it out loud, but we think about it atleast twice each day. Isn’t it? Please tell me I am right, and I am not the only one in it?

And, No, it does not mean I am unhappy in my marriage, but, I feel I was happier before I got into this institution! Why the hell marriage is called an institution anyway? Because it teaches us many things…each day. Yeah…maybe. Ok..Ok..Yes it does!

Many a time, when I see a happy, cuddly, mushy, clingy, PDA friendly, young couple outside, I try to tell them through telepathy, ‘Dude, do not get married!’, ‘I know you’re very happy together and you feel like you can spend eternity together and that you can’t live if you don’t get married!’ No Dude, seriously, trust me when I say that, having a fling, no matter how serious are you for each other… things will change after you tie the knot. This pink season will turn into grey before you know it. Having said all this, I know you are judging me in your heart, that I am that saddist, vicious, brutal, ruthless beyach, who just talks negative and tries to scare others.

Well, No! I would say, marriage has it’s own perks. Like everything else, this coin also has two sides. You get a partner for every crime you will commit, forever. If it is forever! (Saddist b**** back).You get somebody to share your entire life with. You get to make babies, have your own family, have your own little world in this big world. (as Sridevi said in Engligh Vinglish). A gene pool, you get to call your own. Yes, sounds beautiful right? (If you’re unmarried, it will sound beautiful!). Conversely, You get to spend your entire life with just one person (just kidding, don’t take out your swords ladies. But I know you have thought about it too.)

On a serious note, what I am trying to say here is, every relationship is built on a lot of factors, like trust, love, faith, care, passion, sense of belonging, needs and desires, and many many other factors. Only try adding baggage of responsibilities to it. Dayum!! There it goes..!

The whole gamechanger is the set of resposibilites, that come with the word ‘Marriage’. No, I am not trying to demotivate the ones who are unmarried and are planning to enter the world of being ‘soul-mates’ soon. I don’t regret being married even for a single day. To marry was my own decision and I knew very well that life was going to change after that and it won’t be that rosy love story forever anymore. It was ‘one-step-ahead’ of our relationship.

But my heart does cringe at times when I visit my past and feel we were more fun before we got married. We had no responsibilities and we were free like birds. We lived the way we wanted to. We were not answerable to anyone but ourselves. Life was more amusing. Don’t you agree?

After marriage life took a full turn and we had to make a life together for ourselves and our families. We had to be more responsible or atleast act like one.

We were answerable to our families.

We had to behave, keeping in mind our loved ones.

We had to think before we did anything.

Now saving accounts were very important.

Festivals became very important all of the sudden.

Many rituals we din’t even heard about were now important.

Relatives we never cared about were suddenly very important.

Holidays became more of a family affair than just us backpacking to the mountains.

Grocery shopping became a monthly pilgrimage (who knew there is a thing like ‘monthly budget for grocery shopping’?)

Speed dialling numbers changed to doodhwala, presswala, maid, cook, etc.

Furniture, bath linens, bed linens, were more important than Zara, H&M and Mango.

Buying disinfectants were more important than buying perfumes.

Who knew one needed two towels in the bathroom, a hand towel and a face towel. And yes, not to forget, bathe towel is separate one, needless to say.

We now have separate toothbrush too. (How did we ever shared our toothbrush?…eewwww)

Who knew one needs so many toiletries in the bathroom?

Forgetting a birthday or anniversary of any family member was a crime you could get hanged for. (Earlier it was ok if you didn’t even attend the party, even though you were invited to it.)

A major part of the wardrobe is occupied by salwar suits, sarees and lehengas you can’t even imagine wearing before you know what.

Sasu Maa becomes the most important entity in one’s life. Even more important than your husband, your own parents, your own life.

Let us not elaborate about the above topic. It is a little risky, as it is possible, she might read this article.

Ahem…moving ahead, even friends change. Like literally. You will never know when the opposite gender buddies disappear from your life and how soon.

Well, the list is endless and I know I have scared the s*** out of my unmarried readers here. So, lastly, I would say, do not get scared from taking this step. Change is the law of nature and no matter how much you want to hold on to your current supercool life, it will change someday.

So go ahead, find yourself someone you think you can spend your entire life with, someone you think you will be happy with, someone who understands you and love the way you are, someone with whom you don’t have to change yourself much, someone you can dream your future with and cross the bridge and enter the world of matrimony. You will not regret it.

Just take it with a pinch of salt and don’t overburden your partner with the load of your expectations from him. You have your own life and your partner is not responsible for your inner happiness. Do what makes you happy and be yourself. Live your life and bring joy to each other. As long as his actions are not the sole reason of your happiness, you will be fine.

Marriage should be a bond of happiness and not a baggage. Remind your partner that you appreciate the little things he/she does for you. Be faithful and loyal to your partner. Honesty is the best policy after all. Last but not the least, always stay vocal in your relationship. Communicate everyday, as much as you can. Do not just complain but communicate your fears, your weaknesses, your loss, your failure, your joys, your victory, your happiness, just communicate your heart out.

Marriage comes with the promise of forever and forever is a very long time my friend. It is indeed a very long time so take tiny steps each day to make it work. Marriage is forever a work in progress.

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Love n hugs!