The wedding saga

Recently I went to a few weddings, as the wedding season is on full bloom in India..yes..it’s time to dress up and walk like a diva to the wedding, consider yourself no less than an actress, all eyes on you, who is she? whose daughter is she? whose daughter in law is she? where is she from? Is the jewellery real or fake? Where did she get this dress from? Oh her hair is so nice..etc ..etc.

But Indian weddings are all about getting together and making a big deal about it. More the people, the  merrier it is. You can see so much happening around you, all at the same time. It’s not just about the bride and groom, It’s about their families, the rituals and the fun.

While you are there to attend the wedding, you cannot miss on the happenings around you. There will be ladies, all busy passing judgements on each entrant, while multitasking with the food ofcourse.

You can see, one mother, struggling to feed her children, as much as she can, so she doesn’t have to go cook food, as soon as they reach home. While there is another one, who was struggling to feed her children, who are so busy playing and running around the venue that they forget about the food part completely. She has the same thoughts in her mind, “These little monsters are playing here and not eating this free food, and as soon as we will reach home, they will be hungry and will make me cook…arghh!”

There are men and women overloading their plates with as much food and as many options as possible, while the kids are squirming around the sweets and ice-cream table.

Few girls, all dressed up to kill, eyeing some guys, looking their way. These weddings play as a perfect platform to such tinee winee love stories. Girls are all looking pretty and boys turn up looking like studs. While their parents are busy in their chit chats with relatives, they get a perfect opportunity to meet and impress each other. Infact many future brides and grooms are found by the families in such weddings.

Few are busy showing their dance moves while others do the famous ‘kite flying’ and ‘naagin dance’ (snake dance) after a few drinks.

You can find people scrutinizing the  new couple, head to toe, their clothes, their actions, everything is under scanner. While some people are more curious about the gifts given in the wedding.

Some kids found the best place to sit… the sofas on the stage for bride and groom. While their parents are looking for them all around.

One thing you are sure to see at every wedding…relatives sitting with red faces because they were not pampered enough, and some groups of ladies, sitting and betting ,as to how long this marriage will last, how soon they will have babies or if it’s love or arranged, and that there is something fishy in this marriage.

Groom’s friends and young cousins busy  hitting on the girls from the bride side.

People rushing in and out of the venue as they have to attend one more wedding the same night.

Those common traffic jams due to the groom’s wedding procession are everyone’s nightmare.

Still an Indian wedding is almost like a festival, the festivities and celebrations all around, create an aura of joy and excitement. In such an environment, one’s happiness knows no bounds. It is a marriage of two souls or rather two families, to hold and respect and cherish for life, through thick and thin.

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Note to my Relatives!

Please don’t bring me kitchen magnets, of the places you travelled, as souvenir.

Please don’t worry about my children too much. Raise yours.

You have no meaning to call and ask about my kids school result or marks. Worry about your own.

Make sure to remove the nameslips from the gifts, you pass on to me on festivals.

Don’t act surprised and tell me you forgot, after inviting me for a get-together.

I know your kids are the best in the world, and they are the most well mannered kids on planet earth, but please stop comparing them to mine.

Calling, before dropping by, will be highly appreciated.

If you could ask, if we are free over a certain weekend, before self inviting yourself, that will be great.

It’s funny how you are nice to my face, and talk shit behind my back, and still think I will never know it.

When someone is bad mouthing about me, you are all ears. But you have some serious doubts, when someone says something nice about me. Why?

If I am not answering your phone call after 7 times, it means I am ignoring your calls. Please give up.

My family matters are MY family matters. Please feel free to handle yours and not mine.

If you can’t buy gifts for me on my special days, then stop expecting or asking me for them on yours.

Please wait until I ask for your opinion.

It can’t be that you talk nonsense about me to everyone and I still be nice to you.

If you don’t like me, you don’t have to hold up. Please ignore me. I will be happy.

Don’t always send your kids to my place, to play, while you go shopping and hang-out with friends and they destroy my house.

Even though you are my relative, its hard to relate to you.

I am not interested to know about your high flying cousin or your recent holiday.

I am not interested to know the cost of your carpet, as soon as I put my feet on it or the cost of your crockery as soon as the food is served.

I am not interested to know the cost your dress, or your shoes, or for that matter anything.

Please stop telling me, who you saw my girl talking to, or what should be the length of my girls dress.

If you expect me to appreciate your clothes and make up all the time, try and appreciate others too.

You are my relative, you don’t own me, so stop taking decisions on my behalf. I can very well take mine.

Please don’t gift me the cookies your kids didn’t like, or the leftover food, and expect me to be thankful.

Think before opening your mouth. Or is it too much to ask for?

If I told you any of my secret, it’s not for the whole town to know. 

Don’t expect respect, earn it.

 That middle class girl 

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Be yourself!

Being a full time mother of two, who suck all the energy out of me all the time, a full time home maker, whose work is always pending through the day, a full time writer (wannabe), who is forever thinking about what to write next, I am always on the edge of my temperament. 
I don’t like to go out or meet people…I’ve started to like it better at home, where I don’t have to worry about getting dressed or look a certain way or to entertain people or feed their egos.
 I’ve started to like ‘being with myself’ mode..or ‘I’ll stay in the car’ mode( when I go out)…and I am sure many people think the same way….I am sure it’s just not me in this zone.
May be I am just lazy or don’t have energy to make that effort to socialize anymore…and people have started to tag me with “arrogant” , “ignorant” , “full of herself” names. They may think I am a lousy person but my hands are full right now and I hardly care. 

We connect with people in many different ways, not all of us have the same interests or ideals, we may think that we are alone and can’t connect to other people but it is not you who is wrong, we simply don’t match with some people and that is perfectly fine. The right people will come at the right time.
We can’t fix everything right in our life all the time…can we?
So rock the way you want to.. it’s your life afterall.. let them judge you..let them feel better about themselves…let them have misconceptions about you…let them talk shit…you do what you want…be what you want…worry only about people who actually matter to you and that’s it. That’s the only way you can be happy and that’s the only way you can live your life.
That middle class girl 
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Lets discuss…

I have a daughter…and I feel it’s very important to make her independent and strong and self sufficient and educated and financially secure. 

It’s very important for me to tell her how to keep safe and how to get out of any adverse situation. I worry about her safety all the time and she’s just 7 right now.
It’s very important for me to make her humane and teach her to be kind and helping, to respect everyone.
Our respected Prime minister has also given a slogan..”beti padhao..beti bachao”. (teach the girl ..save the girl)
But what about the boys? The other half of the country? I need a slogan like ” beto ko samjhao…beti bachao”.(make the boys understand…save the girl)
 Our daughter’s will be educated and independent. They will go out. Be late at nights. But will they be safe? That can only happen if our sons are taught to respect women and not treat them as something ‘use n throw’.

What do you guys feel about it?
Leave your comments and let me know what you think can be done to keep our girls safe in this patriarchal society.
That middle class girl 

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Home-maker…who??

Just a little something I always think about. Here I am not cribbing about my husband, but just throwing some light on the current situation at hand. And it is not just about me, but almost everyone goes through it.

My husband is super supportive and he’s  always ready to lend a hand to me, whenever I need, with kids or home. 
He knows and respect the fact that I left my career to take care of the kids. He treats me as equal. Always. But are we really equal in the household? No, we are not, and I guess most of you will relate to it.

Here is just one example of many such happenings in a day that tell me, although we are partners in a relationship, but we are not sharing the equal responsibilities.

Whenever he has to go out with friends or have a late night, he would just call me and inform. That’s it. 

Whenever I have to go out with my friends, although he’s here to take care of the kids, but I have to first manage the food, clean the house, clean the kids- give bath, change clothes etc, do the laundry, worry about their potty time, and numerous endless things that are to be taken care of. 
He doesn’t have to worry about anything. He just have to keep the kids alive behind me and when I come back, I get dirty kids, messy house and a tired husband.
Nomatter how broad minded or forward you are, I guess, the boundaries are set. The mindset is coming from generations and it is difficult to change it now. 
As mothers, what we can do is teach our boys to help with the house. We can ask them to do some work in the kitchen too and not just praise them for getting their own glass of water. 
We can ask them to help in cleaning too. Let them make their own bed. Let them cook breakfast for the family. Ask them to make tea. Let them clean the table after dinner or do the dishes.Teach them how to multitask.

Along with making our daughter’s financially independent, we should make our sons good homemaker too.

 That middle class girl 

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Where is everybody?

The malls are full,

Roadside shops are empty.

Roads are full,

Streets are empty.

Amusement parks are full,

Colony parks are empty.

TV rooms are full,

Playrooms are empty.

Restaurants are full,

Home kitchens are empty.

Weddings are full,

Funerals are empty.

Birthday messages are full,

Birthday parties are empty.

Virtual friends are full,

Get together s are empty.

Heads are full,

Hearts are empty.

Bank account are full,

Wallets are empty.

Donation boxes are full,

Beggar’s stomachs are empty.

Hatred is full,

Love is empty.

Revenge is full,

Forgiveness is empty.

Friendlist is full,

Real friends are empty.

Fashion is full,

Passion is empty.

Old age homes are full,

Grandparents rooms are empty.

Tears are full,

Laughter is empty.

Pretence is full,

Values are empty.

IQ’s are full,

Feelings are empty.

‘I’ is full

‘We’ is empty.

Romace is full,

Fidelity is empty.

 That middle class girl 

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